Where we find ourselves is the sum total of what we either said , thought or did. We always have a choice on how we live our lives day to day. The more difficult the task the more affirming the lesson & greater the reward.
I have a bad habit to being too nice under the guise of wanting to keep the peace. THAT IS A SELF SERVING LIE. Granted I am a nice person, I avoid conflict like the best Yogi master. I smile & breath , deflect , twist & contort myself into just about any position to avoid conflict. Even though taking the high roads has given my blisters & biting my tongue has given me the bitter taste of blood…I still do it…BUT WHY?
Now first, I thought it was a bad case of people pleasing..then when I dug a little deeper I realized it was some twisted 50 Shades of Grey mental S&M I was inflicting upon myself. Anyone who knows me..knows me ..like for real , for real knows when I blow a gasket …the whole spot and anyone within a 5 mile radius is subject to get caught up in flames. So why would I let myself get pushed to a 5 alarm when I could just address an issue when I smell the smoke. If it’s not people pleasing than what is it you ask? I don’t want to look mean. Go ahead and laugh, silly isn’t it. How is that not people pleasing and actually self serving you are now asking , well let me tell you.
I don’t want to be identified as her , there I said it! As a black woman you either wear ABW as a badge of honor , show it as scars of battles both won & lost or you run from it ; I have often chosen the later to my detriment. Self expression, exercising boundaries and assertiveness have been deemed angry when associated with a black woman , even if her voice is not raised…she must be angry…mad…bitter…I hate being stereotyped YET I have fallen right into the lie.
No more, if it smell like you just flung some poo poo at me , I’m gonna say it. If you have offended me , I will still pause and reconcile within myself BUT if it don’t balance I will say so.I will no longer be a pushover so I when I tip over I can have a “reason” to be angry. How crazy and self depreciating is that? I become the very thing I try to avoid…when I could just be aware & proactive from jump with diplomacy & tact. My words don’t have to be blunt nor my tongue sharp l they can be fluid and precise laid upon a silver tongue. I AM NOT AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN AND I DON’T HAVE TO PROVE IT BY BEING MEEK. I was creating yet another false narrative to negate another. Even if you don’t think you are a liar , if you are not living your truth,,,YOU ARE A LIAR
And Rachel Dolazel really think she know what it’s like to be me…GIRL BYE… #NoMoreDianaPrince
Truth Moment – 6/20/15
I write about love because is both fascinates me & frightens all at the same time. Kind of like fire or water …and as with fire and water I know the components of each yet I don’t really understand either ..not truly at their core ..so I’d rather get close enough to feel but never fully immerse myself because I fear being overtake by the flames because I’m not sure if it will consume me and I no longer will recognize myself OR drowning in the water because I’m never sure how deep it truly is and I may get lost…so I’d rather play with the fire and marvel at it from a far ..or maybe dip my toe in the water ..even get in ; up to my waist but never to my neck ..hoping that maybe ..just maybe I can go deeper
Ever wonder what makes an aircraft or helicopter fly? Some of those answers can be found in Let’s Fly by Matthew C. Martino. Matthew takes you from the ancient dream soaring in the clouds to the modern-day reality and explains how each of these marvellous inventions work. You will not only understand the deep satisfaction that pilots get from commanding an aircraft in flight, but you will get an idea on the inevitable risks involved. No matter what it is that fascinates you about flying – its promise of freedom, its beauty, its precision and science, or the prospect of adventure – you’ll find it all waiting for you in this book.
Matthew C Martino is a 21 year old UK resident of the Brentwood area of Essex with Zimbabwean roots. Aside from bring an author , his is also an actor and producer. Though he is a very busy man , I was able to catch up with his and ask a few questions about his book… CHECK IT OUT
1) What inspired you to want to start sharing the history of aviation with other
MM – It was the hardship I had faced trying to be a pilot, I found that instructors and aviation firms always charged for every bit of information and I just wanted to reach out to other aspiring pilots and avgeeks out there. I just want to see the whole world fly some day.
2. In writing your book, what did you find most difficult about the process?
MM – In writing its the ‘planning’ phase which is tough, you have to have a good plan and structure for the book to know how many chapters you want and how you aim to be able to make the book interesting and in the case of Lets Fly , also educational. I had to seek the advise of a pilot friend during this time who advised on the technical aspects.
3. How can Let’s Fly be applied to everyday life?
MM – I think Lets Fly can be applied to everyday life by looking at the beauty of life. In general , the book encourages we look at the beauty of flying and the advantages it brings. Lets Fly also opens up possibilities for anyone to fly and I think in everyday life the book can be used to inspire someone that they can do anything if they put their mind to it.
4. How did you Zimbabwean roots along with your British upbringing contribute to writing this book?
MM – My passion for flying had began when I was in Zimbabwe where I did more plane spotting so I was able to apply my humble beginnings to being able to come to Britain where I collected model airplanes and also got to actually fly which I guess contributed to the more practical parts of the book.
5. What is the one thing you want people to take away from your book?
MM – I want people to take away the beauty of flying out of the book and I also want everyone to realise that it isn’t difficult to fly, if you know basic maths and science you can fly and even most health conditions are now acceptable especially for private pilots.
Please check Matthew C. Martino’s book Let’s Fly : AVAILABLE NOW ON KINDLE and MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA… HE IS DEFINITELY SOARING
TWITTER –> https://twitter.com/M4tMartino
FACEBOOK –> https://www.facebook.com/LetsFly2012
Let’s Fly – Matthew C. Martino – www.amazon.com
I was asked recently what did I find most difficult about being minority , which did I see as a bigger challenge – being African American Or being a woman … I would usually give a long social commentary on how it is hard for me to separate the two because it was a unique exist that I can not fathom separating… but on that day I said my bigger challenge is being the 1% of the population who stutters AND of that 1 % being an even more rarity of a woman that stutters AND yet an even smaller percentage of the previous stated small percentage who are African American & female who stutter… YEAH …
I am a shy extrovert .. not necessarily by nature but by circumstance. It has become a part of my life to weigh every word I say , perceive the interpretation and response of the listener …always concerned if I was understood. Some people confuse I need to be understood as a need for acceptance , nothing of the sort at all. I have come to value communication and expression in much higher regards than most. The bible states that “Life and death are in the tough.” and it is true. You can seal your own fate by what comes out of your mouth , delay or redirect a blessing all because of what you say and how you say it. The wrong words can rip a person deeper and quicker that hollow tipped bullets from an M16.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes that I try to keep in mind when ever I talk to ANYONE. Sometimes I shoot off at the mouth ..I am human BUT if you use this as guide..you have more agreements than disagreements –
“Before you speak ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, it is true, does it improve upon the silence?”
― Shirdi Sai Baba