4 Reasons Why People Want Monique To Shut Up


monique laugh frown

Many of us have been listening to comedienne & award-winning Actress Monique & her “Daddy”; husband Sydney Hicks telling anyone who would listen about her claims of being black balled in the entertainment field. The Hollywood trifecta of Oprah Winfrey, Lee Daniels & Tyler Perry where her principle nemeses. In the 8 + years, Monique’s work has been seen in films but more often she has been noticed for her splashes in the media; no major ripples until she requested people to boycott Netflix. All you heard from Facebook to Twitter to major media outlets “Say, what Monique!! Have you lost your mind?” Now, I must admit; I was not even remotely considering boycotting Netflix. I am still waiting for the new season of Luke Cage. Quiet as it is kept, I am probably one of only 10 people who likes Will Smith’s Netflix series “Bright”. Needless to say, that was a huge request and I needed to learn why.


As I did my research, I saw that many people felt that Monique’s refusal of $500,000 from Netflix was a bad move. People were down right pissed; from Roland Martin to any blogger from California to NY was irked and made sure we all knew. No matter where I looked, darn near everyone I followed on all my media platforms had something to say about it, and 90% of it wasn’t nice. I had no idea that people felt so passionately about Monique. Below, I have compiled four talking points that seem to be the agreed upon consensus of many. I will list what many have said AND then add what I feel they are really saying.

  1. What they said: She needs to take that $500, 000 & be happy. Work her way back up.  Ain’t nobody checking for her. She isn’t a Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock.

What they are really saying: How dare you ask for what you feel you deserve? Every time I hear you & see you I am reminded of times when I compromised myself to get along; waiting for better that was suppose come next time. (which never came as I sat in silence SHUT UP MONIQUE!

  1. What they said: When did she start caring about the disparity of pay for women of color? She only cares because it’s affecting her pocketbook now.

What they are really saying: Have I ever truly cared about another’s plight unless it affected myself or people I care about. I am not capable of sincere empathy without it being self-serving in some form or fashion. SHUT UP MONIQUE!

  1.  What they said: She is loud & pushy. She has a bad attitude. That’s what she gets for going at Oprah & Lee Daniels. She knows how the game is played.

What they are really saying: I can’t stand people demanding to be heard because I have not been heard. I have yet to feel fully empowered to speak my truths & my pains because I feel no one truly cares. There are certain people I feel subject to. I fear losing by exercising choice and expect negative consequence if I go against what is popular. SHUT UP MONIQUE!

  1. What they said: Why does she keep calling her husband “Daddy”?

What they are really saying: Those types of expressions are not customary for a “strong, outspoken, woman.” I don’t feel comfortable being feminine even in my strength as a woman, especially in public. I am not comfortable in my masculine to accept that from a woman in public. SHUT UP MONIQUE!

Now, I know that wasn’t exactly what you were expecting. Even if you don’t want to admit it, at least one of those points resonated with you. Until you can show empathy to yourself, you can never show empathy for another and thus never progress to where you desire to be. While many called her out on playing Victims & Villains, they themselves loved tossing the Shame & Blame cards at will. If she triggers you or amuses you, she is your reflection.The truth is the truth , no matter who the messenger is.


All is love ,




**Check out Chapter 1 of my Essence Best Selling ” For Every Love There Is Reason”**

book cover


We Create Our Lives — PERIOD…THAT IS IT…


Where we find ourselves is the sum total of what we either said , thought or did. We always have a choice on how we live our lives day to day. The more difficult the task the more affirming the lesson & greater the reward.

Truth Moment – 6/23/2015 – The Ramble Makes Sense ..Trust Me…Just Keep Reading

Even if you don't think you are a liar , if you are not living your truth,,,YOU ARE A LIAR

Even if you don’t think you are a liar , if you are not living your truth … YOU ARE A LIAR

I have a bad habit to being too nice under the guise of wanting to keep the peace. THAT IS A SELF SERVING LIE. Granted I am a nice person, I avoid conflict like the best Yogi master. I smile & breath , deflect , twist & contort myself into just about any position to avoid conflict. Even though taking the high roads has given my blisters & biting my tongue has given me the bitter taste of blood…I still do it…BUT WHY?  

Now first, I thought it was a bad case of people pleasing..then when I dug a little deeper I realized it was some twisted 50 Shades of Grey mental S&M I was inflicting upon myself. Anyone who knows me..knows me ..like for real  , for real knows when I blow a gasket …the whole spot and anyone within a 5 mile radius is subject to get caught up in flames. So why would I let myself get pushed to a 5 alarm when I could just address an issue when I smell the smoke. If it’s not people pleasing than what is it you ask? I don’t want to look mean. Go ahead and laugh, silly isn’t it. How is that not people pleasing and actually self serving you are now asking , well let me tell you.

Angry Black Wmn Tshirt

I don’t want to be identified as her , there I said it! As a black woman you either wear ABW as a badge of honor , show it as scars of battles both won & lost or you run from it ; I have often chosen the later to my detriment. Self expression, exercising boundaries and  assertiveness have been deemed angry when associated with a black woman , even if her voice is not raised…she must be angry…mad…bitter…I hate being stereotyped YET I have fallen right into the lie.

No more, if it smell like you just flung some poo poo at me , I’m gonna say it. If you have offended me , I will still pause and reconcile within myself BUT if it don’t balance I will say so.I will no longer be a pushover so I when I tip over I can have a “reason” to be angry. How crazy and self depreciating is that? I become the very thing I try to avoid…when I could just be aware & proactive from jump with diplomacy & tact. My words don’t have to be blunt nor my tongue sharp l they can be fluid and precise laid upon a silver tongue. I AM NOT AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN AND I DON’T HAVE TO PROVE IT BY BEING MEEK. I was creating  yet another false narrative to negate another.  Even if you don’t think you are a liar , if you are not living your truth,,,YOU ARE A LIAR

You have no idea about the complexity you were mimicking!!!

You have no idea about the true complexity of the Black Womanhood you were trying to mimic!!!

And Rachel Dolazel really think she know what it’s like to be me…GIRL BYE… #NoMoreDianaPrince

Truth Moment – 06/20/15

Truth Moment – 6/20/15


I write about love because is both fascinates me & frightens all at the same time. Kind of like fire or water …and as with fire and water I know the components of each yet I don’t really understand either ..not truly at their core ..so I’d rather get close enough to feel but never fully immerse myself because I fear being overtake by the flames because I’m not sure if it will consume me and I no longer will recognize myself OR drowning in the water because I’m never sure how deep it truly is and I may get lost…so I’d rather play with the fire and marvel at it from a far ..or maybe dip my toe in the water ..even get in ; up to my waist but never to my neck ..hoping that maybe ..just maybe I can go deeper

Let’s Fly with new author Matthew C. Martino

Let's Fly - Matthew C. Martino  - www.amazon.com

Let’s Fly – Matthew C. Martino – www.amazon.com

Ever wonder what makes an aircraft or helicopter fly? Some of those answers can be found in Let’s Fly by Matthew C. Martino. Matthew takes you from the ancient dream soaring in the clouds to the modern-day reality and explains how each of these marvellous inventions work. You will not only understand the deep satisfaction that pilots get from commanding an aircraft in flight, but you will get an idea on the inevitable risks involved. No matter what it is that fascinates you about flying – its promise of freedom, its beauty, its precision and science, or the prospect of adventure – you’ll find it all waiting for you in this book.

Martino says piloting is not as hard as some may think

Martino says piloting is not as hard as some may think

Matthew C Martino is a 21 year old UK resident of the Brentwood area of Essex with Zimbabwean roots. Aside from bring an author ,  his is also an actor and producer. Though he is a very busy man , I was able to catch up with his and ask a few questions about his book… CHECK IT OUT

1) What inspired you to want to start sharing the history of aviation with other

MM – It was the hardship I had faced trying to be a pilot, I found that instructors and aviation firms always charged for every bit of information and I just wanted to reach out to other aspiring pilots and avgeeks out there. I just want to see the whole world fly some day.

2. In writing your book, what did you find most difficult about the process?
MM – In writing its the ‘planning’ phase which is tough, you have to have a good plan and structure for the book to know how many chapters you want and how you aim to be able to make the book interesting and in the case of Lets Fly , also educational. I had to seek the advise of a pilot friend during this time who advised on the technical aspects.

3. How can Let’s Fly be applied to everyday life?
MM – I think Lets Fly can be applied to everyday life by looking at the beauty of life. In general , the book encourages we look at the beauty of flying and the advantages it brings. Lets Fly also opens up possibilities for anyone to fly and I think in everyday life the book can be used to inspire someone that they can do anything if they put their mind to it.

4. How did you Zimbabwean roots along with your British upbringing contribute to writing this book?
MM – My passion for flying had began when I was in Zimbabwe where I did more plane spotting so I was able to apply my humble beginnings to being able to come to Britain where I collected model airplanes and also got to actually fly which I guess contributed to the more practical parts of the book.

5. What is the one thing you want people to take away from your book?
MM – I want people to take away the beauty of flying out of the book and I also want everyone to realise that it isn’t difficult to fly, if you know basic maths and science you can fly and even most health conditions are now acceptable especially for private pilots.


TWITTER –> https://twitter.com/M4tMartino

FACEBOOK –> https://www.facebook.com/LetsFly2012

Let's Fly - Matthew C. Martino  - www.amazon.com

Let’s Fly – Matthew C. Martino – www.amazon.com